Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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