now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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