After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
