I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
