malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
