Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
