At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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