I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
