Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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