Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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