dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
