I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
