I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
