I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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