i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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