he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
