When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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