oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
