She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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