he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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