Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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