Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
