i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
