I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
