I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
