phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
