i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
