I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
