i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
