Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish i was in the wii world.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
