Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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