Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You were trust falling into bushes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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