does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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