Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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