I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
