Just cropdusted the office
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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