STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
vagina is talking i cant
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
