Yo dont text me then not text me
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
