Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this will be a night to untag.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
