Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
