Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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