Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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