He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
