Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize