I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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