i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
