I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
