It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
