Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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