Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
