Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
