Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
