Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
