Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They took my balls.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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