I wish my penis had an off switch
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
