We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
