god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
