Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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