What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
