wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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