Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
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Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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