he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
