Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize