i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
