he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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