She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
