You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
