I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
