oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
