I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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